Day 29

This is it…


It was time to do some serious soul searching. I was weak from the staying up all night from what I thought might be food poisoning. I was feeling better, but unsure how much my body could take.

"Stay home. It's crazy to go to a yoga class after you've been sick," my husband said. "Besides, no one is going to care if you make it or not."

He's right. No one will care if I make it to 20 yoga classes in 30 days. The yoga studio isn't going to give me a free mat, a ticker tape parade, or even a t-shirt. Anyone would say that it's okay to miss because you were sick. No one is going to yell or scream at me, "You failed!" No one, that is, but me.

So why am I trying to make 20 yoga classes in 30 days? Is it just because I need to commit to something and prove to myself that I can do it? Maybe. Is it because I want to be fit and strong through yoga? Maybe. I was hoping, actually expecting, to lose some weight. But it really hasn't happened. It couldn't be the chocolate cake, the twice a week eating out, or the late night dinners that prevented the weight loss. Could it?

What I wanted more than anything else out of this challenge was to cross the finish line. Too often I have run a good race and stopped just short of the finish line. Come up, as my mother would say, "A day late and a dollar short." No one would begrudge me taking time off because I was ill. But if I let myself off the hook I had to ask myself why. (That's what I have heard from every yoga teacher: It's fine to come out of a pose and rest, but ask yourself why you are doing it.)

I decided I couldn't let myself off the hook on this one for two reasons. First, I knew there had been many days when I "let myself off the hook" and didn't go to class when I had no excuse other than "I don't feel like it." Second, this is where the rubber meets the road. If I don't give it everything I've got- I might as well have not started to begin with. It is full steam ahead. I am going to yoga today, not once, but twice.

The morning session today was a blur. And that's a good thing. I walked into the studio with no pretences. I had no choice but to listen to my body. Whatever it was willing to do, that is exactly what I was going to do. If my body said, "Rest," I would rest. If it said, "Run to the bathroom," I would run. And hopefully not step on anyone along the way. But neither one of those things happened. I went through the poses and my mind was no where in class today.

I made it through without getting sick and surprisingly, I felt better. I'm still in the race and I'm going for the finish line.

Challenge Counter:
Number of Hot Yoga Classes: Made it to 18!